I’m Not Gay (2020): A Sharp, Unexpectedly Tender Exploration of Identity and Denial
Bold, witty, and surprisingly heartfelt, I’m Not Gay (2020) walks a delicate tightrope between satire and sincerity. Directed by indie filmmaker Marcus Ellery, this provocative dramedy uses humor not to mock, but to peel back the layers of masculinity, repression, and self-discovery in a world obsessed with labels.
The story centers on Jake Thompson (played with remarkable nuance by Ben Rosenfield), a mid-20s gym trainer and “lad’s lad” who prides himself on being everything society expects from a straight man — confident, muscular, and aggressively uninterested in introspection. But when he begins forming an unusually close bond with his new roommate, Adrian (Callum Turner), Jake’s carefully constructed identity starts to unravel in hilarious — and deeply moving — ways.
The film plays its title with irony. “I’m not gay” becomes a mantra, a nervous punchline, and eventually a confession that means everything but what it says. As Jake fumbles through awkward encounters, late-night conversations, and a truly unforgettable karaoke scene, the film never laughs at him — it laughs with him, while gently asking: what if the real joke is the prison we’ve built around ourselves?
Rosenfield’s performance is a revelation. He captures Jake’s inner war with raw vulnerability, balancing his bravado with flickers of longing and fear. Turner is equally compelling — calm, open, and emotionally grounded. Their chemistry is electric, intimate without ever feeling forced, and the tension between them crackles throughout.
Visually, the film is unflashy but effective, relying on warm lighting, tight spaces, and lingering silences to let emotions breathe. The writing is sharp, fast-paced, and fearless, weaving comedy with unexpected moments of introspection and pain. Supporting characters — from Jake’s clueless best friend to his emotionally distant father — add texture to the exploration of how identity is shaped by our need to be seen, even when we don’t fully see ourselves.
I’m Not Gay isn’t a coming-out story. It’s a story about questioning — about the grey areas, the emotional loopholes, and the labels we use to avoid the truth. It’s bold without being preachy, funny without being cruel, and real without being predictable.
Rating: 8.2/10 – Clever, courageous, and quietly devastating. One of the most honest films about modern masculinity in recent years.
